Checking in

This is the third week in a row I've gone over my flex points. First week I lost 4 lbs, second week I was up 0.6, this week, well, I'm up 2.6 from yesterday! (That's not an official weigh in yet, because WW is closed for Thanksgiving today. I'll have to weigh in Wednesday night.)

I knew this weekend was not going to be good: friends' wedding, eating out twice with different visiting relatives, and Thanksgiving itself. I'm also planning a visit to the Maritime Fall Fair today, but that doesn't involve more junk food for me than a piece of fudge. And I'm actually not even interested in that today.

At the wedding I did pretty well, especially since it was a stand around and graze-at-will sort of affair. Before going I thought, eat what you want, but don't stuff yourself silly. Choose your treats. I indulged in the lasagna and Caesar salad, I had a bite of my husband's Naniamo bar, four tiny meatballs gingerly dipped in barbeque sauce, and lots of raw veggies. I turned down garlic bread, cakes, full-dressed nachos, chips, chocolates and various sweets, seafood chowder, scallops and mussels, and the chocolate fountain.

My real problem lately has been that I've been eating stress and pain. For the past few years I've gotten painful ovarian cysts every other month or so, but for going on 4 weeks now I've had the most persistent and painful one yet. My doctor is sending me for an ultrasound, but the earliest appointment I could get for that is December 15! Yes, December.

The pain got intense last Wednesday, so I saw a duty doctor on Thursday. He suggested if it gets intense again, or if I have a fever or vomiting to go to the ER, where I'll get all the tests done right there and then. It hasn't been as bad as that since, but if it does, or even if I can't stand it, I'll go.

So of course the "Big C" is floating around in the back of my head. I don't even want to type the word. I seem to be trying to keep the thought buried with food. I have looked at nibbles I'm about to pop in my mouth and thought, this won't help the pain or worry, but then I eat it anyway. At the very least I'm still writing down my food and counting the points (so many points!), keeping up my fruit and vegetable intake, and generally making better choices, just too many of them!

For the past week my back has been bad too, so I haven't even been walking. It started to ease a bit so we had good walks on Friday and Sunday, though. That did help the stress and pain temporarily.

Anyway, that's where I am right now. I figured I need to cope better than I have been, and blogging about it might be a good first step. Lying still with a heating pad gives the best pain relief thus far, but it's also conducive to eating!