I see other bloggers throughout the land trickling in with posts, some like ragged survivors (me!), others triumphant, some business as usual.
I went sooo off the rails the last 4 (yes, 4) days. It wasn't pretty. Weighing in today wasn't pretty, although I did it. I had to know what the obvious damage was. I had to know the immediate results of my actions. (I did not have an a fib episode last night, which surprised me greatly. Eating a big meal is a common trigger.)
Yesterday was the worst, eating wise, coming in at 118 points. (Yeah, I tracked them!) I'm embarrassed to type it. My daily allotment is 30, and even with 35 weekly extra points, well, you can figure it out. The previous 3 days were also pretty pointapalooza.
You know what's even more pathetic? Last year I ate more. A lot more.
Yesterday was a lot of grazing, grazing, grazing. I'm thinking now that maybe I just need to accept that I am a grazer, and change what I graze upon, rather than trying so hard to change that behaviour. Maybe I can do a bit of both? Figure out a balance?
I was feeling a little discouraged this morning after weigh in. I'm up 4 pounds since my Weight Watchers weigh in on Tuesday, 3 days ago. I need to get through today, just one day, one day at a time, to get back on track. The junk is gone from the house. It's a start.
I'm not too worried about not eating well for a few days. What I'm worried about is sliding back into the way it was. Into eating crap all day everyday. Unlike some others, I am not sick of sugar, and the chips I ate yesterday were delicious. If there was more chocolate in the house I would eat it! My impulsive, indulgent side wanted to bake brownies last night, but I didn't.
That's what makes me hopeful and keeps me here. I chose not to bake something to continue the eatfest. I knew it wouldn't do my body any favours. I knew that it wouldn't help me to my ultimate goals. Part of me was insisting that mint brownies are a Christmas tradition, I make them every year! Part was the brat saying "It's Christmas! Gimmie!". Another part was the avoidant, anxious me who still misses people who are no longer with us.
My husband is putting the leads on the doggies, I'm off for a walk.
Friday, December 26, 2008
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15 comments:
First of all. Thank you for your candid and open honesty about your eating yesterday. I keep a food journal and yesterday I copped out and simply wrote 'Chistmas :-)' I read your blog entry and I decided right then and there that I needed to calculate my points. I know that I overate. I also know that I ate least had a lot more vegetables than previous! So I stopped reading in the middle of reading and figured up my points. I will be facing the scales tomorrow also. (I pointedly ignored them today!)
You took the first step toward getting yourself back on track by not baking those brownies! Good for you! That first step is the hardest!!! You (we) can do this!!!
Hey - it's okay. The point is to get back on track right now. Nothing is unfixable in the weight loss arena, right?
I had a horrific weigh in check this morning, but some of that will be water, and I'll work hard and get off what I can by next Wed (my weigh in day).
My sugar tooth is back in full force, and it's going to take some time to beat it back down LOL!
Join the crowd!!!! I am just glad that today is a new day. It will take a few days to a week or two to undo the damage that I did, but thankfully for me it was just one day not tracking what I ate!
I find planning my meals and blogging help keep me focused on my weight loss goals. I find that looking up some new low fat recipes online helps inspire and remind me how delicious being back OP can be.
I second all of the previous comments above as well :)
Good luck during these challenging holidays!
Well, yesterday is water under the bridge. I think most of us over did it. But like was stated above today is a new day and a day to start back where we are supposed too.
My downfall was the cookies I baked last night. BIG MISTAKE! I really don't have a sweet tooth but I think I've found my downfall. Homemade cookies, yikes!
Wow, you tracked your indulgences!! THAT is absolutely AMAZING and something to be proud of yourself for! It shows that you are still "in the game", even if you've been sidelined for a little while! We'll get through these holidays!
love your honesty as well as it seems, somedays, so many people just ARENT which only serves to make me feel more like crapAnOddity (especially in motherhood but thats a whole nother rant :)).
and I think it is HUGE that you ate more last year.
a GREAT THING.
no matter what the holidays end up bringing scalewise it means you are doing JUST FINE.
you are doing FAR BETTER than you would have before.
hang in there----09 is coming and it is ALL OF OUR YEAR!
MizFit
I actually think that you should be proud of yourself for tracking those points! There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Especially since you ate more last year. This is a success! I didn't have the nerve to track mine and I'm almost positive I had a lot more than 118! Can't do anything to change what we've done, only what we will do!
Chalk it up to a great holiday and get back on track as soon as possible - you'll begin to crave healthy food too!
I am finally glad to be home, cooking and not dependent on hospital cafeteria food anymore!
Happy Belated Christmas!
Pointapalooza had me LOL! :)
I imagine that we've all had 118 point days & probably much higher for way more than a day...weeks, months, years. Bags & bags of crap have been making their way into my mouth and sliding on to my butt for decades :)
I could still very easily do it now but the fear of not being able to put on the brakes stops me cold. You saying that it all tasted good? That's what I'm afraid of :)
I admire your honesty.
I admire that you've lost 55 pounds! It's hard to do but you did it!
Thank you for adding yourself to my followers list!
The holidays are always the hardest, I was no angel today myself HUGS
Thanks for visiting my blog and a Merry Christmas to you as well :-)
Being honest with yourself re what you ate, is a good thing. However, don't beat yourself up over it. Learn from your mistakes and climb back on the waggon, those extra couple of pounds will come off.
My biggest battle has been to stop focusing on food, something that I found I tended to do with Weight Watchers. Food has always been my comfort thing and I've had to learn how to make it just part of my life and not my life. Things have become a little easier once I started doing that.
Hang in there!!
hey...at least you're being totally honest about what you are eating which is so hard to do, but also so important.
The fact that you have admitted your sin means you know wht you have to do to get back on the horse.
I feel for ya, I know I've had a few "grazing" periods in the last month myself.
It's about recognizing and moving on...
:)
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Just_Kelly
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